My Heart and Purse Have Both Been Stolen
by Lauren Wagner
Summary: Answer to the Two Lines Challenge: RemyKurt have a night out on the town


Today was one of those days when Kurt really hated being known as " The Fuzzy Elf." It was boiling hot outside, and his fur was only making him hotter, but was also shedding to boot. He seemed to always shed a bit in the summer.  
  
Needless to say, Kurt was not a very happy blue German at the moment.  
  
Lounging on the school rooftop, he leaned against his chair and closed his eyes. His tail moved slowly, almost as tired and hot as he was. Looking down at his bare chest, he lightly rubbed his palm over it, growling foul words in German as clumps of fur came off.  
  
"I feel like a dog." He sighed, looking at the fur as it blew away. Sitting up, he hugged his knees to his chest, his tail wrapping lightly around his ankles.  
  
Looking down at the school grounds, he saw that everyone who could was in the pool. He frowned a bit, knowing he couldn't go in and cool off with them.  
  
Kitty, their newest member, had complained about blue fur in the pool so much that Xavier was forced to mentally ask Kurt and Hank not to go in when Kitty was. The problem was, she didn't mind Hank's looks. It was just Kurt's that bothered her so much. Kurt and Hank, knowing there was nothing else to do about it, agreed and promised each other that they wouldn't go in unless the other could as well, Hank giving the excuse that the blue furred community should stick together in an attempt to cheer Kurt up a bit.  
  
Kurt's tail thumped the ground, sending a dull wave of pain up it to the base of his spine. This new girl sure knew how to treat her rescuer all right. It had been Kurt who had teleported her to safety when the Hellfire Club tried to attack her. Now, she ran from him every time the two were near each other anywhere in the mansion! It was enough to make one go back to the circus in Bavaria.  
  
"Y' feelin' ok dere, Kurt?" Looking over his shoulder, Kurt gave a weak smile and waved his tail slightly to Remy in greeting.  
  
"Ja, I'm doing fine, mein freund." He said. "I vas just zhinking about zhis verdammt heat."  
  
"Oui, et does suck don' et?" Remy walked up and sat beside Kurt, looking down at the pool. "Wanna go fo' a swim?" he asked.  
  
"Ach, I vish not to upset zhe new student." Kurt said, unable to disguise the bitterness in his voice. Remy cocked an eyebrow, looking Kurt over for a moment before he looked forward once more.  
  
"'ow 'bout we go fo' a walk den in de town?" he suggested. "Et's tae dem 'ot tae jus' sit aroun' 'ere all day an' complain 'bout Kitty an' 'er attitude problem." Kurt tilted his head to one side, thinking about it for a moment before he stood up smiling a bit.  
  
"All right zhen. I vill go und get ready. Vait for me by zhe gates." Swiftly, he teleported into his room and he slipped on a white tank top as his tail picked up his image inducer. Putting his wallet into his pocket, he teleported to the gates.  
  
"Y' ready tae go?" Remy asked, waving a hand in front of his face to get rid of the brimstone smell. Activating his image inducer, Kurt nodded with a smile.  
  
"I am now." He said. Walking past the gates, they headed east through the wooded path to the town. Looking at Kurt, Remy couldn't help but softly laugh at him as he shook his head a bit.  
  
"Vhat is so funny?" Kurt asked, placing his hands on his hips.  
  
"Y' got fur fallin' off as y' walk." Remy explained.  
  
"Ach, verdammt it all!" Kurt growled, looking down at the ground. He looked at the blue fuzz on the ground and he sighed.  
  
"I don' t'ink people will see et, mon ami." Remy said, trying to cheer Kurt up.  
  
"Vell if zhey do I don't care." Kurt said.  
  
"Did y' bring yer wallet, mon ami?" Remy asked.  
  
"Ja, vhy?" Kurt asked, cocking an eyebrow. Seeing the look on Remy's face, he sighed. "You need to borrow from me again, don't you?"  
  
"Oui." Remy nodded, his cheeks turning a faint red.  
  
"You lost another bet." Kurt said more than asked. He softly growled as Remy nodded. "Vhen are you going to give up?" Remy shrugged as they reached the town.  
  
"I though' I could win." He said.  
  
"Pool Hall?"  
  
"Oui."  
  
"Zhis man is probably rich vith my money by now." Kurt sighed, crossing the street.  
  
"I'll pay y' back, Kurt. I promise." Remy swore as they entered the pool hall.  
  
"That'll be two hundred smackers, Remy!" The owner of the pool hall looked like the kind of person Logan would fight in one of his cage matches. His arms were huge, making one think he had simply inserted basketballs into his arms. His head was shaved, showing a dragon tattooed on it.  
  
Kurt's eyes grew wide when he heard the sum.  
  
"Two hundred?" he asked weakly. The owner laughed, nodding.  
  
"He lost ten times to me in a game of pool." He explained. At that moment, Remy wished he could phase like Kitty as Kurt glared at him darkly.  
  
"Ach, verdammt mist!" he growled, taking out his wallet and thumbing up the sum of two hundred dollars. Before he handed the man his money, Kurt stopped and had an idea.  
  
"I zhink I have an idea zhat vould be better, mein herr." He said. "You und I vill play one game of pool. Zhe vinner gets four hundred dollars instead of two."  
  
"Kurt. . ." Remy started.  
  
"It's a deal!" The two shook hands and headed for the pool table. Remy took Kurt by the elbow and pulled him back a bit.  
  
"Vhat is it?" Kurt asked with a sigh. Remy pointed over to a cabinet filled with trophies from pool tournaments.  
  
"'e 'as been de pool champion fo' five years runnin' naow, Kurt." Remy explained. Groaning, Kurt clapped a hand over his eyes and prayed for a miracle to get him out of this with some money left in his wallet.  
  
***  
  
Three hours later found Kurt and Remy coming out of the pool hall laughing and giving each other high fives.  
  
"I can' believe dat y' beat dat guy!" Remy said. Laughing, Kurt thumbed through the four hundred dollars.  
  
"Neither can I!" he said. "Mein freund, zhis calls for a celebration at my favorite bar!"  
  
"Soun's like a good plan tae me, homme!" Smiling, Remy nodded and he ran for the bar across the street.  
  
"Ach, it's too hot to run!" Kurt protested, trotting after him. When they entered the bar, they were both panting and laughing softly, despite the heavy sweat on their brows. Sitting down at the bar, Kurt ordered an obscene amount of beer for starters.  
  
"Y' t'ink twenty will be enuff?" Remy asked seriously. Kurt thought about it for a moment, cocking his head to one side.  
  
"Ve have all day und night to drink." He said with a smile. "Along vith enough cash to last us zhat long!" Smiling, they picked up their first glasses and clicked them together in a toast.  
  
***  
  
At two in the morning, the bar closed. Stumbling out the doors, Remy and Kurt held each other up. Laughing and swaying a bit, they headed for the woods. Both their accents had gotten thicker and a little harder to understand due to the massive amount of alcohol they had drunk.  
  
Kurt stumbled on a rock, falling to the ground with a laugh. He pushed himself up, leaning his back against a tree in a sit.  
  
"I zhink ve should res' 'ere a bit, mein freund. I don' feel so gutt right naow." He said, trying to control his giggles. He fumbled with his image inducer, taking it off and throwing it over his shoulder. Remy plopped down beside him, his hair falling over his exotic eyes.  
  
"Dat was grea'!" he said, Kurt nodded, lifting his face up to the full moon.  
  
"At leas' zhe nacht is cool." He sighed, closing his eyes. "Zhe sun is too 'ot und uncarin' for me." Remy turned to Kurt and he smiled a bit. He reached out and lightly touched his cheek, startling him a bit.  
  
"Shhh." Remy said softly, placing a finger over Kurt's lips. He cupped his chin in one hand, tilting his head gently from side to side. He looked into Kurt's questioning golden eyes and he smiled.  
  
"Y' got a nice face, mon ami." He explained, lightly tracing a finger over Kurt's high cheekbones. "De fur is sof' loik silk an' y' face looks almos' feminine."  
  
Kurt blushed a faint purple, turning his face away a bit too quickly. His tail curled and uncurled nervously, the tip flicking side to side wildly. Slowly, Kurt turned back to Remy, his heart racing as their eyes met.  
  
"Your eyes ar' loik zhe settin' sun vhen it goes down in a crimson hue." He said softly. He laughed weakly, shaking his head. "Ve sound like one of Jean's romance novels!" he said. "Ve ar' so drunk, mein freund!"  
  
"Kurt, I'm serious." Remy said softly. He leaned forward to meet his lips, but Kurt pulled back. Stumbling, Kurt tried to get up.  
  
"I. . .I zhink ve should get back." He said softly. He stopped when Remy lightly grabbed his tail.  
  
"Remy. . ."  
  
"Wha' ar' y' afraid o', Kurt?" Remy asked gently. Kurt looked at Remy quietly, wishing his heart would slow down before it burst.  
  
"You." He said weakly. Remy tilted his head to one side, looking at Kurt seriously.  
  
"Jus' 'un kiss? Den we go 'ome an' sleep." Remy promised.  
  
"All right." Kurt nodded, sitting back down. Slowly, they leaned in and their lips met. Kurt started to pull back, but Remy took that moment to slip his tongue in.  
  
Kurt's eyes grew wide in surprise. He was ready to panic when Remy gently placed a hand on his cheek. He relaxed and started to return the kiss, sliding in his own tongue to meet and caress Remy's.  
  
Candy apples. That was the first thing that came to Remy's mind. He wondered if the reason Kurt's tongue tasted like this was because he was raised in a circus. Feeling Kurt's tail gently wrap around his middle, he slipped his arms around him, holding him close.  
  
Kurt was starting to really enjoy this. He ran his fingers through Remy's soft hair, groaning softly as he felt his pants getting tighter and tighter by the second.  
  
Finally, they broke apart, panting softly as they looked into each other's eyes. Both felt instantly sober at that moment. Kurt's tail slowly unwrapped itself, swaying in front of Remy's face.  
  
Smiling, Remy watched the spade move back and forth lazily. Gently, he caught it between his teeth, looking into Kurt's eyes. He teased it with his teeth and tongue, laughing softly as Kurt groaned and squirmed.  
  
"Remy. . .stop!" Kurt growled. When his tail was freed, he looked at Remy with lustful eyes. He looked at his tail and he smiled a bit, turning to Remy. Slowly, his tail caressed Remy's cheek, snaking down to his pants. It slipped down slowly and he smiled, showing his fangs.  
  
"Y' tongue tastes loik candy apples, chere." Remy said softly. He rested a hand on Kurt's cheek, stroking the fur gently. Kurt leaned his head against the hand, his eyes half closed like a pampered cat. Softly, he made murring noises in his throat.  
  
"You 'ave vonderful 'ands, liebe." He returned. He took Remy's hand, kissing the palm lightly. Remy smiled faintly.  
  
"Y' t'ink de others will miss us fo' a few mo' 'ours?" he asked. Kurt shrugged, slowly taking Remy's shirt out of his pants and lifting it over his head.  
  
"I don' zhink so." He said, smiling slowly. With both shirts off, they looked at each other for a moment. Then, they came together with a passion.  
  
***  
  
Kurt didn't remember when they got to the mansion when he woke up. He found himself alone in his bedroom. Thinking back to last night, he smiled and slipped out of bed.  
  
Walking out to the balcony, he smiled up at the golden sun and he stretched his arms out. Unable to hold it back, he burst into laughter, hugging himself tightly.  
  
He loved Remy; that much was certain from the events of last night. He just couldn't believe it had taken two hundred dollars worth of beer to make him realize that! His tail curled and uncurled, swinging back and forth rapidly. He reached into his pocket for his wallet.  
  
He froze.  
  
Kurt reached into both pockets, finding them empty. Running into his room, Kurt dug through his blankets, looking all over. After he searched his entire room, he came to a realization.  
  
Remy had stolen Kurt's heart last night, as well as his wallet! 


End file.
